Tension and freedom
A short note on a hammock thought
I just meditated, hopped in my hammock and I’m lying in the sun so this one is a little abstract. With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk about tension and freedom. Some rough working definitions:
Tension: two (or more) forces acting on an object that somewhat or totally counteract one another, restricting the possibility space of that object
Freedom: the degree of possibility space available to an object
Tension is used to create stability, both during physical movements and in our behaviour patterns. Strong ideas of who we are and what we want make us tense up against reality and, in turn, create a seemingly stable self-narrative. For most people I think this process is generally pathological. We tend to habitually introduce tension into our lives without questioning the tradeoff against our own well-being, then despair over our lack of freedom.
This is why “letting go” is such a common frame. Trauma release, psychedelic trips, breathwork, meditation and artistic expression all point us towards surrender as the conduit to wellness. Which means, literally, relaxing the internal tension we’re holding. I suspect most people see “becoming free” as a positive already but amongst meditative types maximising freedom is often framed as the goal1. Liberation from suffering, freedom from desire, sounds pretty good yeah? Well it gets better! Freedom is the default state of consciousness and we’re all constructing our suffering on top of it, through our actions. If you can accept all that2 then the next question is: sure, but how does one actually do this?
Tension is a slippery thing. When we are chronically tense we forget there is any tension at all. I’ve heard Sam Harris call this “clenching a fist in your mind” but, in truth there is little difference between mental and physical tension; our bodymind is one continuous system. It seems to me that we create these physical and mental tension-knots by conditioning our nervous system, through our behaviour. We demand stability from life and project our models on to it, but all this gets us is more tension. More knots. The only way to untangle them is not trying.
I have scoliosis3 and I’ve spent years working on my various muscle imbalances, to surprising success. Every time I make progress it’s because I’ve identified a poor movement pattern and learned to relax it, allowing a new pattern to form in its place. The “background noise” of tensing our muscles can hide the more subtle control available to our nervous system and progress here looks a lot like regular-old-meditation for me.
Once you get good at relaxing tension on command, something else becomes obvious: tension is useful. Being totally free doesn’t help you navigate every situation4. Stability is useful, in moderation. For example, I’ve been experimenting with a new exercise:
(it’s this podcast on in the background, an interesting guest that disagrees with many of my beliefs)
On my first few attempts I couldn’t hold the position at all, until I understood how to create tension across my arms through the stick. This allowed me to stabilise my body enough to start lowering it, still got a ways to go though. This is conceptually no different to setting a deadline for yourself to increase the pressure and get shit done. Pressure, stress and striving all create mental tension - they’re the felt experience of trying.
So, I posit, the ideal amount of trying is non-zero if you want to set goals and have desires but feel as free as possible at the same time. It’s possible to maintain the mental superposition of being a specific person and being anything. This is what I like about Zen in particular5, there is a central focus on integrating the practice with everything you do.
Applying this perspective in different areas of live reveals the same pattern: tense to achieve, relax to consolidate. Learn, unlearn. Remember, forget. I’m trying to do this on command, to notice the appropriate inflection point and allow this cycle to play out on its own timescale. To let what’s happening, happen.
As far as I can tell, this applies to every aspect of living. I find it fascinating that programming, fitness, writing, meditation and art have all shown me this same lesson through their respective lenses. It suggests a strong case that these really are universal principles for human experience. If you’re familiar with the Buddhist perspective then the teaching of impermanence comes as no surprise. It’s undeniable in every moment.
So stability is impermanent, and perhaps entirely illusory, but it’s very useful.
Until next time,
Ben ✌️
Stuff I’ve been thinking about
💬 Jake Orthwein and Michael Ashcroft: Alexander Technique, Dzogchen and the phenomenology of awareness
📚 Discarding My Mental Tension by Sasha Chapin
🧬 Knowledge Structures by Gordon Brander
🤸♀️ Ido Portal: The Science & Practice of Movement | Huberman Lab Podcast #77
of course there “is no goal” etc. but perhaps it’s clearer to say that the goal is a useful illusion
it takes a while, but I am pretty convinced after almost 7 years of on-and-off meditation and study
I developed it as a teenager but it’s not clear to me or anyone how exactly
at least not while living in a SoCieTy, perhaps cave-life is different
or at least how it’s taught in The West
I loved this one!
Recently, I have been noticing this effect in Yoga. The more I understand my body and mind connection, the better my ability to release into stretches and positions. I would have never believed that flexibility is largely mental, without feeling it myself.
Now, when I recognise resistance I focus on it mentally and breathe into that area and more often than not my body releases whatever was preventing that range of motion.