On “ambition” vs “courage”, I like to think that every personality trait has a quiet & a loud version. Prudence is quiet, anxiety is loud, courage is quiet, foolhardiness is loud, etc.
For me, ambition is the quiet one, and selfishness is it’s “loud” counterpart. You cannot live without both (as they’re inside you, there’s no permanent escape), but the loud traits are often much easier to “cave-in to”, and the quiet ones easier to ignore.
You need the loud ones to stand up for yourself (sometimes), but listening to the loud ones while you’re alone is (almost) always dangerous. That’s helped me make sense of my intrusive thoughts, separating them from the quiet & sincere “but I think I really can do this” thoughts.
I like this frame, I think this loud vs quiet distinction could be mapped to ego-inflation vs. inherent enjoyment. I think it also possibly touches on short vs long-term happiness/fulfilment? Short term motivations tend to be “louder” in my inner experience.
That fits with the “standing up for yourself” angle where sometimes one does need to bolster their ego but living your life through the lens of your ego is obvious fraught with issues. At least for me personally it’s quite unclear whether I’m falling prey to some delusion of grandeur without a TON of introspection, but winding out the time horizon is often very clarifying.
On “ambition” vs “courage”, I like to think that every personality trait has a quiet & a loud version. Prudence is quiet, anxiety is loud, courage is quiet, foolhardiness is loud, etc.
For me, ambition is the quiet one, and selfishness is it’s “loud” counterpart. You cannot live without both (as they’re inside you, there’s no permanent escape), but the loud traits are often much easier to “cave-in to”, and the quiet ones easier to ignore.
You need the loud ones to stand up for yourself (sometimes), but listening to the loud ones while you’re alone is (almost) always dangerous. That’s helped me make sense of my intrusive thoughts, separating them from the quiet & sincere “but I think I really can do this” thoughts.
I like this frame, I think this loud vs quiet distinction could be mapped to ego-inflation vs. inherent enjoyment. I think it also possibly touches on short vs long-term happiness/fulfilment? Short term motivations tend to be “louder” in my inner experience.
That fits with the “standing up for yourself” angle where sometimes one does need to bolster their ego but living your life through the lens of your ego is obvious fraught with issues. At least for me personally it’s quite unclear whether I’m falling prey to some delusion of grandeur without a TON of introspection, but winding out the time horizon is often very clarifying.